There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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