Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
