If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
