I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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