he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
