you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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