I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
