Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
