i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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