Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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