I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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