I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
