My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't deserve a penis
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
