from now on my penis is your penis
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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