And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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