I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
