so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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