Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
