So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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