Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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