do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
