Four minutes until I can fart!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
