If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
