I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
