True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
