It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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