just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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