I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just want nice things and good sex
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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