rhymes with "ouble enetration"
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
