Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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