I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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