Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
