What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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