i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
