Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
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She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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