is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so let's talk penis.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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