we're blogging at a bar
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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