my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
