mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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