I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
