Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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