She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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