dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize