Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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