dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm passing your future prison.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You need a sexual gate keeper
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
