Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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