he wants to bone in the snuggie
where am i from again
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
