Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize