Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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