I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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