u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
