I didn't shave. On purpose
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
