Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
