ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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