your thong is hanging out like whoa
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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