My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
