It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
