you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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