dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize