dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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