Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize