i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
