I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
