eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize