In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
